


So Long, Lonesome

by beyondambivalent



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dreams, F/F, Soulmates, Supercat Week 3, supercat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 09:15:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beyondambivalent/pseuds/beyondambivalent
Summary: Let it be known that the universe is out to get Cat Grant.In which, normally when someone dreams, they visit their soulmate’s dream, but nothing is ever normal with Cat and Kara.One-shot. Supercat.





	So Long, Lonesome

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Supercat week :D
> 
> I'm ignoring "Human for a Day" and Adam doesn't exist for the purposes of this story. The song "One Day I'll Fly Away" served as inspiration.

_"Once upon a time and far, far away,_  
_this place is truer because it's impossible to touch;_  
_a place you can always visit, but never stay;_  
_compared to the land of dreams,_  
_the land of waking isn't much"_    
_—Whisper Gypsy_

* * *

 When Cat Grant was 5, she ran up to her father on the beach, her tiny feet sinking in the soft sand with every step till she reaches Carter Grant Sr, who was sitting on a beach chair reading a book, and throws herself at his legs, “Daddy, daddy.”

“Oh hello there,” Carter dropped his book, caught her and lifted her to his lap with practiced ease, brushing her wild hair behind her ear, “What did we say about running around on the beach?”

“Not to do it when Mom’s around,” Cat giggled causing her father to laugh.

“Oh my precious tiny Cat, you are going to get us both in trouble,” Carter tickled her.

The little girl laughed while trying to break out of his grasp till he finally stopped. She rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat contently.

“Daddy.”

“Hmmm?”

“What’s in the sky?” Cat asked as she tilted her head up, looking at both her dad and the sky.

“Well… There is the sun, the moon, the stars… and if you have a telescope, you can see other planets.”

“Other planets?”

“Yes, you know how we live on Earth?” Carter felt Cat nod, “Well there are other planets out there, other worlds far away from ours.”

“Do people live there?”

“We can’t know for sure. We haven’t been there yet,” Carter said smiling at how inquisitive his daughter was.

“I had dreams I was on another… planet,” Cat whispered it like a secret.

“Oh did you now?” Carter chuckled.

“Uhmmm It’s called Krypton, and this sun is yellow,” Cat said, using her hand to point at the sun, “But there the sun was red.”

“And there were… people? On… Krypton, was it?” Carter asked, his head tilted as if trying to solve a puzzle.

That’s when Cat sat up, excitedly nodding, “I made a friend. Her name is Kara, she’s 5, like me,” Cat lifted up her hand to show the number with her fingers, “she likes to draw, and her dad reads her a story every night, just like you daddy,” Cat said, leaving a smile on Carter’s face.

“And what does Kara look like? Does she look like a human?” Carter asked, some apprehension seeping into his tone.

Cat rolled her eyes, “Of course she does. Her hair is like mine, and she has blue _blue_ eyes. I tried to tell her they are the same color as the ocean,” Cat points at the water, “But she didn’t know what that was.”

“Oh? That’s a shame.”

“But now she knows because I showed her,” Cat said proudly, “She was scared at first, but I held her hand and told her I won’t let go and we only stayed at the shore, just like you taught me daddy.”

Carter’s eyes shone as the sun reflected the tears clouding his eyes, “Very good, Kitty,” he hugged the girl tighter, “I’m so happy you made a new friend. Kara sounds very special, just like you my tiny precious Cat.”

“She said Krypton is very far, and you can’t take a plane. But I want to go there when I grow up daddy,” Cat declared, a look of determination on her face.

Carter smiled fondly at her, “Well my kitten, if you want to go to the stars,” he got a conspiratory look on his face when he saw Cat listening very closely to what he was saying, “You’re going to have to learn how to fly!”

He lifted Cat up above his shoulder, holding her by her tiny waist while he ran around, leaving Cat giggling happily at the rush of air, her hands nestled tightly in her dad’s brown locks.

“Fly Kitty, fly!”

* * *

When Cat Grant was 13, she had already found out about soulmates. Her father had excitedly explained to her one night not too long ago, telling her how soulmates visit each other in their dreams, how Cat was so special that the universe gave her one that came from the stars. He hadn’t known exactly how they would meet considering they were light years apart, but she reassured him confidently that Kara had already been to other planets, so maybe one day she will fly to Earth too, and that Kara had talked to her dad, who was a scientist, and he was already working on locating Earth. Carter had been so pleased when he found that out, and told her he already loved Kara and couldn’t wait to meet her.

Turns out, the universe was just full of irony, because it gave Cat a soulmate from the stars, then took everything away from her. She woke up screaming Kara’s name, still trying to grasp at her fading best friend. Cat had seen the jumbled images as soon as she fell asleep that night, nothing like the vivid dreams she usually had. She felt the ground shake, heard the loud roars, saw flashes of Kara’s parents standing on the side as Kara sat in one of those space pods she had told her Kryptonians used to travel. She saw how tightly Kara’s mother hugged her, and how Kara didn’t want to let go. She saw Kara’s dad mouth ‘I love you’ to Kara as her pod took off from the launch bay. She then saw a massive explosion, a shockwave of color and debris spreading angrily in every direction, but the only sound was Kara’s inconsolable screams for her parents. Kara finally turned to look at Cat calling out to her for help, fear marring her features, but then something struck the pod, sending it spiraling in space with a blaring emergency alarm and lights echoing in the small pod, and Cat was suddenly immersed in complete darkness and violently yanked out of the dream.

Cat’s entire body was wracking with sobs as she got out of bed, the blaring emergency lights still clouding her vision. She needed to find her dad, he would know what happened and if Kara was okay. It was only after she yanked her room door open, that she realized the flashing blue lights were not just residue from her dream but were seeping in from the outside of the house. Cat rushed down the stairs to find a police officer with his hat off, consoling her weeping mother. The other police officer approached her slowly, taking in her shaking frame and tear stained face, and told her there was a fire in her dad’s office building a few hours ago, and that he didn’t make it.

The funeral was a small affair, neither Carter nor Katherine having any close relatives. Cat stood next to her stoic mother, tears running silently down her face as her father’s grave was lowered into the ground. Cat rarely talked to her mother about her dreams, her father had been her confidant in that area and her mother wasn’t happy with the whole off-worldly soulmate situation, but she found the words tumbling out of her mouth anyway, “I think something happened to Kara too. The last thing I saw was an explosion, and I haven’t had any dreams since.”

Her mother had barely looked at her since her dad’s death a few days ago, but Katherine looked down to her then. “Looks like love is through with both of us, _Kitty_. You’re young, but believe me it is best to be untethered. That way you don’t live life from dream to dream, and dread the day when dreaming ends.” Katherine spared one last look at the grave, and walked towards the town car.

“You were wrong dad,” Cat said, the tears making her voice quiver, “I wasn’t special enough for either of you to stay with me.”

* * *

 When Cat Grant was 35, she was saved from a plane crash and finally got some closure she didn’t know she still needed. The man, who will later be called Superman, appeared out of nowhere and caught the plane that she and one of her colleagues, Lois Lane, were on. When he pulled her out of the wreckage, she saw the House of El emblem on his chest. For 22 years when she slept, everything was dark, which many times was more than she could take but she had always repeated the word  “untethered” and pushed herself just like her mother pushed her. It was an amusing thought that her mother, in her apathy and blind ambition, was what got her through a life that was unbearable to many.

Shortly after, Lois had managed to land an interview with Superman, who told the story of how when he was a child, his planet, Krypton, was dying and he was sent to Earth for his safety, and how the symbol on his chest was his family’s coat of arms. Cat cursed the universe as she read the article with tears streaming down her face for she finally now knew that the unclear glimpses she had seen when she was 13 were of the planet’s destruction, and that Kara was also in a pod that was to take her to Earth, _to her_ , but the universe always had other plans when it came to Cat. The presence of Superman in Metropolis was too much for Cat, as he was a constant reminder of what she would never have, especially that the Kryptonian was related to Kara; the baby cousin she told her about a few weeks before everything went down. So she allowed herself to grieve for Kara and the incredible life she could have led one last time, and moved to National City to start a new life with no more lingering questions about what happened.

* * *

When Cat Grant was 37, she gave birth to a healthy little boy after a long and painful labor. She hadn’t decided on a name yet when she fell asleep out of exhaustion. The usual darkness greeted her, but she caught a glimpse of sunlight shining down on her face. She cursed the universe when she woke up, and decided that since the universe kept fucking with her, she would embrace it, and took it as a sign to name her son after her father. Carter Grant Jr. was the sun of her life since then, because her dreams were still of nothing, but she refused to say “untethered” any more, and swore she will be better than her mother.

* * *

When Cat Grant was 48, she sat behind her desk, after having fired yet another incompetent assistant, and wondered why it was so hard to follow instructions. She took a deep breath, and yelled out “Where’s my 10:15?”

She groaned when she saw a pesky blonde enter her office, turned her chair before she even got a good look at the girl, and proceeded to give a speech about irritating millennials. By the end of it, she turned her chair back to face the girl, might as well have some fun with this, she did enjoy making other people squirm after all, and this one will be too easy, judging by the cheap cardigan.

“So my 10:15, tell me why you’re so _special_?” Cat asked sarcastically, making her disdain for the word clear.

“I’m not,” came the girl’s quick response, “special. I’m not special.”

The words Cat said over her father’s grave when she was 13 echoed in her head, and she immediately looked up, taking in the girl who would use the same words to describe herself. The girl then proceeded with explaining what wasn’t special, and Cat just got irritated and looked back at the papers in front of her, chastising herself for letting simple words make her emotional. But the damage was already done, and the girl definitely caught her interest.

“I just wanna be useful,” the blonde said, “to somebody. I wanna be worthwhile.”

“And you’re not? Worthwhile?” Cat found herself asking, observing the girl closely. Worthwhile was different from special, worthwhile implied hard work, it was more meaningful to Cat.

“I haven’t done anything to prove it… yet.”

That was the answer Cat wanted to hear, despite how the girl got distracted by the breaking news about forest fires on the screen behind her. But she couldn’t let the girl know that, so she proceeded to be the dramatic queen she was, “I think you should know that I expect complete and utter devotion to this job. Are you willing to sacrifice everything in your life to be my assistant?”

The girl was torn between answering Cat and watching the fire for some reason, but Cat uncharacteristically waited and found herself hoping the girl will say yes. The gears in her head already turning, the word _protégé_ swimming around.

“Yes,” the girl answered with a smile, “of course.”

Cat found herself happy with how the morning turned around after all, “Okay then. I suppose we’ll find out soon enough. Go fetch me a latte…” Cat realized she didn’t know the girl’s name.

“Kara. Kara Danvers,” Kara smiled sending a wave of emotions rippling through Cat’s chest.

Cat had found herself in some sort of a good mood, and so of course, the universe decided that it was about time she met someone called Kara. She was tempted to fire the girl right there, but decided once more to embrace what the universe threw at her. _Well, in her own way that is_.

“What are you still waiting for Kiera?” Cat managed to say, “Chop Chop.”

* * *

 When Cat Grant was 49, she concluded that it wasn’t paranoia when the universe was really out to get her. The woman, who she will soon call Supergirl, appeared out of nowhere and caught the plane, which thankfully she was not on this time. Kara… No, _Kiera_ came in yelling demanding to know why Cat called the hero Supergirl, and Cat wanted to fire her. Not because _Kiera_ had come barging in her office, talking to Cat so disrespectfully, but because Kiera’s name was Kara, and _her_ Kara would’ve been Superwoman if she had come to Earth as planned, and Cat still had another dream of darkness the previous night.

Cat gave her the PR answer she had come up with, adding “Supergirl will forever be linked to CatCo, to the tribune, to _me_.” She just had to push down the feeling that she was betraying _her_ Kara with that declaration. James had come in then, interrupting her fake firing of her assistant, _honestly she fired Kiera every few weeks but never actually went through with it_ , showing her a clear image of Supergirl. Cat stood quickly, inspecting the photo more closely, her heart beating faster because _this_ is what she had imagined for days when Superman first appeared. The wind swept blonde hair, the flowing red cape. It was just the House of El emblem on the chest that was missing. She blamed it on shock when she looked up at _Kiera_ , and saw the caped heroin’s face.

When Supergirl finally donned the House of El insignia, and Cat had another dreamless night, she woke up cursing the universe. Logically she knew Supergirl was too young, that the numbers don’t add up because Kara would’ve been as old as Cat. Logically, Supergirl was also related to Superman and Kara, Logically, Supergirl also escaped Krypton because Kara’s family knew about Earth from Cat being her soulmate and had decided to save all the children by sending them to Earth, although that would put Supergirl at the same age as Superman, but that was possible since she hasn’t seen Superman age a single day.

Logically, logically, logically Cat tried to think, but it all fell away when Cat stepped out of her car, and looked up at the caped woman floating in the air, staring down at her.

Cat couldn’t help the smile on her face as happiness filled the hollow parts of her chest that she thought would be empty forever, “It’s you…”

Except, Supergirl tilted her head in confusion and floated down closer to her, no sign of recognition on her face. Cat went home, had another pitch black dream, woke up, cursed the universe, swore never again will she think of _her Kara_ , admitted grudgingly that her mother was right about the ridiculousness of living life from dream to dream (or in her case from no dream to no dream), and burned the picture she drew for her dad when she was 6 of the House of El emblem.

* * *

When Cat Grant was still 49, she stopped being on the offensive about Supergirl when the young heroin started proving herself and Cat became the hero’s biggest champion, relishing in the connection she had with someone who was related to her soulmate and Krypton instead of hating it. Cat apparently also stopped being on the offensive with Kiera because she found herself relishing that connection too. She couldn’t deny her growing feelings for her assistant, who apparently lied in her interview when she insisted she was “average”. _Actually that wasn’t true,_ she absolutely and vehemently denied her feelings for Kiera, because Kiera wasn’t Kara and they lived in a world where everyone had a soulmate. Except, Carter absolutely loved Kiera _, although he called her Kara_ , and the night when she dragged Kiera to the bar after she lost her temper in the office, Kiera accidently admitted that part of her anger was because she hasn’t had a single dream since she was a kid, and stared at Cat longingly. Cat had wanted to kiss the girl, and she saw Kiera leaning in, but decided that _if_ she were to do this she needed to be sober.

* * *

When Cat Grant was still 49 (it was a really long year), she decided that she needed to have the equivalent of “I need to see your manager” with whoever was running the universe, because after a busy couple of weeks in which she was still growing closer to Kiera, she finally figured out that Kara, who she called Kiera, was Supergirl. Kiera denied it of course, and Cat hadn’t brought up anything about childhood dreams, or eyes as blue as the ocean, because she promised herself she was done with that part of her life forever. Which was a good thing she didn’t, because the numbers still didn’t add up, she still had a dream of darkness, and Supergirl flew into her office and shook Kiera’s hand in front of her. Cat told herself that it hurt less this way, and pushed Kiera away because Kiera’s name was Kara, but she wasn’t Supergirl or _her Kara_ , and Cat’s brain and emotions got the best of her and mixed it all up, so she just cursed the universe and carried on.

* * *

When Cat Grant was still 49 (longest year in her whole life really), she cursed the universe one last time, for she went to sleep, but instead of the darkness greeting her, it was the red sunlight reflecting off the spirals of Argo City.

Cat took it all in with a gasp as she recognized she was in Kara’s room on Krypton. She hasn’t seen this place in 36 years, but everything was exactly the same, down to the small statue she was now looking at. “I remember this…”

“I made it for my father when I was 8,” a familiar voice came from behind her, but Cat refused to turn around.

“It’s of a bird that I showed you in one of my dreams,” Cat said, hands clutching the statue tighter, “you got so upset that you couldn’t get the wings right.”

A chuckle filled the room as the owner of the voice approached her, “But father told me it was perfect, and he loved it, and to tell you thank you for showing it to me, and him.”

Cat couldn’t stop her tears from falling, so she closed her tightly even when she felt arms wrap around her from behind, turning her around into a warm embrace, a familiar scent assaulting her senses.

“Won’t you open your eyes, Cat?” She heard the question, but shook her head, “Why not, my love?”

“I don’t know who I will see when I open my eyes,” Cat’s voice wavered from the tears.

“You know it’s me, Kitty,” and Cat hugged the woman tighter.

“I know it’s you Kara Zor-El, but I’ve been confused one too many times, and I don’t think I can take one more heartbreak.”

“I’ve been here for a while, and I believed them when they told me I was recovering from the Argo Fever, and that all these memories of Krypton dying and me traveling to Earth were hallucinations. I believed them because in these hallucinations I never dreamed anymore, so it wouldn’t make sense that I would be here on Krypton now, if it was destroyed,” Kara told her, “But you are Cat, and I never got to see _my Cat_ because I was too young and made it to Earth too late and haven’t had any dreams since. You are Cat, so you can’t be on Krypton, and I can’t be on Earth, so I don’t really know what is real and what is not.” Kara softly brushed Cat’s cheek, wiping some of the tears away, and continued, “I just know that you are Cat, and whether we are on Earth or Krypton, I love you.”

Cat let her eyes flutter open to see the _blue_ blue eyes, that she first saw when she was a little child and her father called her special when she told him about it. “It’s you…” Cat sobbed in relief, as all the fragments of this woman she loved finally fit together, and this time Kara smiled back in recognition, “You insufferable idiot made me think I was losing my mind! I filed for a leave of absence, _Kiera_.”

The ground shook under their feet, and Kara’s parents rushed in.

Zor-El yelled, “Kara, she’s lying, this is where you belong. She is not _your Cat_ ,” Kara looked torn so he continued, “There was a huge fire, and flashing blue lights, remember? Then you never had another dream again.”

Cat shook her head, and used her hand to turn Kara’s face towards her, “I don’t know if you knew this Kara, but that day when Krypton died, my father died too, in a fire.” Cat caressed Kara’s cheek, “I wish you could’ve had a life with your family, but even if you did Kara, it wouldn’t be this. Because this isn’t real. And deep down you know it. You are _my Kara_ and I love you.”

The ground quacked again. “I wish… I want so much for all of this to be true, to stay here with you,” Kara told her parents, then turned to Cat, “But this isn’t real.”

Alura pulled Kara away from Cat, “No!”

Kara hugged her mother, “Krypton will be in my heart forever, but Cat is right. My _soulmate_ is right,” the whole world trembled this time, “I have to go.”

Alura’s eyes turned pitch black, “You will never have another dream.”

Kara broke free from her mother’s embrace, and grabbed Cat in a tight hug, “I don’t need dreams, love will just do for me,” and Cat captured her lips in a kiss as the ground broke and their bodies dematerialized.

* * *

When Cat Grant was 50, she stood at father’s grave, and spoke softly, “You were wrong, dad.” Cat looked up to see Supergirl’s fluttering cape as she floated down from the sky. “I didn’t need to learn how to fly to reach the stars, she flew right to me.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> So this story started to fall apart at some point but I had invested a lot of time and effort so I was determined to finish it. But I'm really not happy with the black mercy part, even though the whole plot was driving towards that. I, unfortunately, don't have more time to work on this and I wanted to put it up today, so I'll leave it as it is for now. But yay you made it to the end, so thank you for reading, and as always, constructive criticism and suggestions are welcome.


End file.
